Everywhere you turn these days it’s just one incredibly depressing or infuriating news story after another. That’s no way to start your weekend, so here is a collection of some of the weirdest news of the week:

• America! F*** YEAH!

Make America (Natural) Gas Again? Okay, sure. Freedom fries/toast is so 2003…

• Go Ninja! Go Ninja! GO!

I know where I’m taking my wife for our next anniversary. Now I need her to get her April O’Neil cosplay outfit.

(FYI – do not Google Image Search “April O’Neil Cosplay” at work without the safe search filter on unless you want to not have a job anymore.)

• Obligatory Florida Link

I wish Igloo had refused to recall these because honestly we could stand to thin the herd a little bit.

• Put Me In, Coach

50 Cent has a little competition.

• Excuse Me, I Need To Go Buy Some Air Pods

This…